It's lellow

I had a disagreement with Biscuits this morning. We were having a fine morning until he got frustrated with me, and it was all downhill from there. 

Breakfast had been served in it's usual homespun fashion, yes...yes as a matter of fact that does mean dry cereal and a banana. So after I had slaved in the kitchen for those 3 minutes getting his and surrogate daughter's daughter (we need to name her something) their bountiful meal, I moved on to work things. I was busy sorting through email when the boy came around the corner with an apple jack (a green apple jack...just one) and in a very determined voice, all while shaking the green apple jack in my face said: It's LELLOW! 

Me: No, it's green
Biscuits: NO Ma-ammy - it's lellow.
Me: Um...no...it's green

(yes I know I'm arguing with a 2 year old, but how else will he learn? Come-on people! Give me some support)

Me: Biscuits, listen to me, you can say it's lellow all day, but just because you say it's lellow...isn't gonna make it lellow. Got it?

He stared into my eyes, blinked a few times, and processed. I could tell I had reached him. He knew I was right. I was certain we finally made headway. As he turned to walk away, I heard it, a little whisper, an arrogant, hard headed, resolved whisper: 'It's lellow'.

All I can say is I sat there thinking...someday that resolve will come in handy. When Biscuits meets reality and Hebrews 11:1 is put to the test. I hope he stands firm and proclaims to the earth: Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see...and people it's lellow!




My goodness has it been that long? JUNE???

I say this with the assumption that there are still people out there stopping by to see if I ever even update this thing anymore. On the off chance...some of you are still wandering over here...I will update you on the happenings of our world.

This has been a rough year (physically speaking) for me. I have been in bed more than I care to admit. My back has been slightly more than bothersome and has brought about some new challenges with my hips. I feel old. I'm not THAT old...but I feel old. While I've been battling different drugs to help with nerve pain, managing pain, weight gain from injections...there is also the balance of the children, the surrogate children living with us, the job, school for the girl child, the husband, the world falling apart in other people's lives, the ministry, the studies...can I just say God is good in all of it? In all the struggle I have found that it really is beneficial to fix our eyes on the author and perfecter of our faith. (Heb 12:2) What a joy to have endurance in the midst of struggle.  I've learned this lesson well over the years...especially after carrying Isaac...but I often forget this lesson in the midst of not so threatening struggles...that even in the smallest...God is ever willing to give us more than the necessary measure of 'get up and go'! The words 'God is love' are so packed with meaning these days. He is good...even when...and even if... (remember that? no? okay...read it here).

Yesterday I had the opportunity to speak to some sweet women. I say it's an opportunity, but I have to tell you speaking is so uncomfortable for me. However, when God directs, I have learned to say yes and be obedient ... MOST of the time. What I loved about my experience yesterday was this...He didn't bring it till the 11th hour. Every time I have sat down to try and write this talk out, I've not succeeded. Friday was all about putting out fires. With every fire came peace. It was like God would just say: "you go get that, I've got the talk handled" and I'd object and tell Him that at some point in time it would be nice to have the talk too. So Friday night after the first part of the conference I came home and started writing. And I wrote and wrote and wrote and by 1 am I had a lot of mumbo jumbo on the pages of my word doc and none of it...I mean NONE of it was flowing. So after staring at my laptop the Lord very quietly said: I told you have this handled, go to bed. So I reluctantly went to bed, woke up at 6 am and started writing. One our later it was like I had this complete out of body experience because He wrote it...at 10:45 I spoke it...and at 11:40 (5 minutes early) I was done and I knew He had started something new in some hearts. Now that is what I call cool. I am my worst critic so don't write me and ask me if it went well...because I don't know. But I KNOW God is good and His plans are His plans...as long as He continues to use me in that way...I just have to say YES LORD and hopefully some day I'll learn to trust that He has it under control and get out of the way.

Oh...back to what is going on here. So we have new house residents. Did I tell you that last time? My surrogate child has a child of her own and we all live in what I commonly refer to as chaos. Other people might not think it's chaos...but I do....and since I'm the mama...it is so. Got it? Ok.

Let's see. The bug is in 2nd grade and just turned 7 a few weeks ago (eeek). She is smart. When I say smart I mean...SAAMARRRT. It's not hard for me to admit she get's her smarts from her Uncles (yes my side of the family...notice I didn't say she get's it from me.) Biscuits is getting to be a big boy 2 year old. Often asks to go potty (yay for the potty), but we're not pushing that quite yet. He talks a lot. He really does like to boss me and the man. He even tried to put his daddy in time out for not letting him stay in the pool on Saturday...now that is funny. I have it under some pretty solid authority that I may be on the mend. I'll fill you on how that goes. Just know your prayers are working.

Okay...I'm out of here. Oh...about the project...yes...I am still planning on it. I was temporarily redirected by some not so good advice...and I took it against what I knew God was directing me to (that is a confession) and now He has redirected me back to it. I have to find an inexpensive way to build a website...and I'm not interested in building it myself...so as soon as I figure that out we'll be moving from blogspot to a new home. I'll keep you posted.

I love you all. Thanks for stopping by. I promise not to take so long between posts this time.


That, back there, back then...

Since this whole new adventure I'm on is taking longer than I thought it would, I thought I'd pop on over here and say hello to you. 

You remember a few months ago (a few few months ago and a few times over) I was supposed to speak at a thingy for PHM and it would snow, or something would happen and I never really got to. Well, I'm getting ready to. This particular subject has been on my heart for a LONG time and is one of the many 'things' I like to personally use with God. It goes a little something like this:

Lord, I know you want me to go there and be that...but do you remember what I was way back then before I was this? Usually He says something like: 'Yep' or 'And?' or 'I'm sorry...you where whining again and that pitch just gets drowned out...' And sometimes I get nothing, which to me means: 'We aren't talking about this'.

Then, as I was thinking about this whole subject, my title, the dying species dropping like flies all around us (otherwise known as humans), our inability to get past our past long enough to see God's future for us, it dawned on me...what about the person that is called but still struggles with wanting to be that, back there, back then...? The idea that just doesn't happen is absurd, mind you, called or not called, we're all humans dealing with fallible emotions and actions. We set out on a course to do the right thing, but somewhere a long the way, temptation sets in and we want to be that, back there, back then...  1 Peter says Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Listen, the enemy is on the prowl, but don't miss the first part of the text 'Be self controlled..' You have to own your stuff. It's very easy for us to look at our situations of sin and point our finger at the devil and say 'he made me do it...I was just under SUCH persecution and the devil just swooped right in...' Does that happen? Yes. But sometimes...SOMETIMES we just don't take responsibility for our stuff. Sometimes we want the back then and that emotion takes hold of us and we end up making our own decision in sin...to sin. Does the enemy love it? Of course he does and he'll use every bit of it against you. 

I saw a young girl who was about 20 today, pregnant, standing on a street corner holding a sign that said 'Anything helps'. I thought, how are we so much like that? We stand on the corner holding up a sign to God that states: Bail me out. Just hand it to me Lord, I don't want to do the work, I just need you to hand me the easy way out. I won't launch into how one of the problems with America is our work ethic, but seriously, when did that spill over into our Spiritual walk? When did you ever think being a Christian was all about being bailed out by the Almighty. Sometimes, we have to role up our sleeves, look at our disaster, then look up to Heaven and say: Lord, that is my disaster, I own it, but man do I need some of your muscle to help me get through this one and clean up. 

So what do we do when we're faced with the growing vines of our past, sneaking up our legs, trying to pull us under? How do we gain that self control? Well, Peter talks about that too. 2 Peter 1:6 says Knowing God leads to self control. Self control leads to patient endurance. Pretty self explanatory. Know Him. Seek Him. Open your Bible and find Him. This is a never ending process. You and I will never get to a point where we know so much of God we're just done. You're not going to wake up one day and realize that God has been neatly wrapped up in a book and there isn't much more to know. I'm never going to look at you and say 'Welp, that bout sums Him up, not much else to figure out'. Seek Him. 

Speaking of summing it up, that about does it for me. I'm on to find something else to obsess about. Love you all!



so here's the dealio...

I have decided it's time to get serious about what God has been asking me to do for a long time. So THAT being said, in the few months, this blog is going to evolve into something very different. I have a lot of details to work out, but I'm excited to get working on a real website that will enable me to have more room and places to write about different things. 

The name of the blog and the idea was given to my when I was pregnant with Isaac...which is kind of how THIS blog came to be. It just wasn't ready until now to mature. 

I will keep you posted of the progress here...and when the time is right we will switch over together. 

In the MEANTIME...here is a little bit of what our world has been looking like. I have been taking care of an extra child during the last 6 weeks. Her name is Audrey and she is 4 weeks older than Asher. She is a doll, and she has given Asher a run for his money when it comes to running the household. When I agreed to do this several weeks ago, I had no idea what God had in store for us other than to torture me with two screaming children instead of one. What has resulted in this is Audrey's mom (as well as Audrey) has stolen a piece of our heart. We have quickly adopted them into our family and we're excited to see what God has planned for our families as we start on a journey together. During all of this transition, my man has found a new job. A company that had been after him and had offered him a job 2 times came back a THIRD time and asked him what it was going to take to get him to say yes. So they negotiated and he said yes! To celebrate we put the neon up for sale and got him a dependable car that will finally allow him to drive around in something and not feel like a big clown getting out of a tiny red car every day...not that that bothered him of course (wink wink). The bug is almost done with first grade (tears...) I can't believe how fast she's growing up. Of course I'm seeing more and more independence and attitude (tears gone) as she continues to define herself and figure out who she is. I've had to remind a few times that she needs to figure out where she left her respect for her mama and go find it...and she does..she's a good girl. 

*********totally random interjection*************
ever listen to the Contemporary Christian on the cable channel? I'm really at a loss for who a lot of these artists are and I think some of this music has been on the shelf since the early 80's. I'm just trying to figure out how it could possibly be defined as contemporary. If you think I'm lying? go find the song "heart of hearts" by Leslie Phillips and listen to it...then let me know I'm not smoking crack.

the end**************************************

Let's see what else....OH...I re-injured my back about 4 weeks ago....as a result I pushed it and pushed it until Saturday I realized I had nothing left in me and I've been in bed flat on my back since. I had my PT appointment yesterday and my PT GUY did what they call Dry Needling. Let me just tell you if you aren't prone to letting the not so nice words escape your lips...this type of proceedure will test you to your limits and beyond. PAINFUL. I'd like to know who comes up with this stuff. Who decides 'I wonder what will happen if I take this needle and stick it in that muscle that is about to kill you and move it up and down till you start to cry?' Cause that is what they do. And for all you PT people out there....this is not nice to do to your clients. I don't care if it works...it's creepy and it hurts and it's not nice. So when you're patient asks you if it's going to hurt and you say...'probably not, but it will be uncomfortable' I would like to remind you there is very harsh penalties for lying. So tell the truth. It's the right thing to do. 

Okay...every one is fine, things are changing...I have a lot more to tell you, but for now I have to move out of bed and change Biscuits stinkyness and then it's back to the bed. Love you all so much! Hang in there with me. I think this change will be really cool. I'll talk to you all soon!


You should know...

I'm doin' somethin'!  I'll let you know as soon as I can. Until then. Don't forget me and I won't forget you!


i've missed you...

The last week has been insane. My eyes have not seen blogs, twitter, news or TV. While I would love to post all my 'happenings' over the last week I'm sleepy and need to rest before tomorrow. It is safe to say I'm even dreading Friday because it's another day full of things to do.  

I'm whining...

Quick update on Shaun. I stopped by the hospital tonight and dropped off something for the family to eat. Shaun was up and alert. He was the only one in the room when I got there. He was thrilled to tell me he only had one tube left in his body. His eyes were bright and happy. So amazing to see that. His testimony has already blown me away. So far he has had his spine put back together with 2 rods and his elbow put back together with 3 screws. He has had feeling in his feet and sensations in his legs. Amazing? Yes...however...what is even more amazing his ability to see God in this. Through the accident, through the surgeries, through the pain...he is seeing God and accepting God's path for him. I find it hard not to ask myself if I would be doing the same at 19 and faced with endless days of pain...oh...and the possibility that I might not ever walk again. Would I be praising Him? I hope so...I hope so. 

Keep them in your prayers and I will continue to do my best to keep you updated. In the meantime...hang tight and I'll try to write more this weekend. 

Have a blessed weekend...headed to figure out why Microsoft doesn't like my Windows 7 License Key...yay...



Update on Shaun Hicks

Sorry it has taken me so long to send you an update on Shaun.  Most of you already know my mother’s friend Laura’s son was in a very serious accident on Tuesday.

I mistakenly told some of you he was a senior in High School, but he is actually a Freshman at the Jr. college in La Junta. Doesn’t make this any easier of course but I wanted to give you the right facts. Shaun had a very long surgery Tuesday night.  They have put his spinal column back together with 2 rods and 8 screws.  The dr. does not give much hope that he will walk again.  He does say that the spinal cord was not severed but very severely damaged.  Shaun's other injuries are a collapsed lung, a broken elbow and shoulder, his spleen was punctured, and some bumps and bruises.  

This family definitely has a very long road in front of them and I cannot imagine being 19 and faced with such hardship. Yesterday Shaun’s sister told me he is very much in pain and very uncomfortable. He has a neck brace on that they won’t let him take off till they know his neck has not been injured and this is causing him a ton of discomfort.

I did see the family last night and Laura is one of the most kind hearted people I've met. She just radiates Christ. I love that.

I'll be out of touch for the next few days ans we are headed to my parents for Easter weekend, back on Tuesday (yay!). 

Thank you all for checking back so often! I'm leaving you with a song that signifies what our walk should be as Christians. Love you all! Have a SPLENDID weekend. 



Urgent Prayer Request

One of my mom’s very good friends (Laura Hicks) son was just in a very bad car accident about 2 hours ago in La Junta.  They are flying him to St. Anothony’s here in Denver right now. Sean Hicks is 19 and they don’t really know what happened. They believe he overcorrected on a turn and flipped his car. He has no feeling from the waist down but was semi alert. 

Please pray for this family. 


non essential essentials...

I really have NOTHING to write about, but since I've committed to writing each day...here we go. 

I was thinking today about the things in my life that are non essential essentials for me. Confused? Don't be... You know ever since we decided to downsize, put our house on the market, tear into all the things we've been holding on to for so many years...I've really gotten good at throwing stuff in the garage sale pile. I keep thinking at any moment I'm going to have a nervous breakdown...mainly because I see something that floods me with: 'O! I remember this...' and I ask myself...do I really need to carry this with me to a smaller home? The answer is usually NO and I put it in the pile...but before I can cry over it I walk away abruptly and pick something else up and move on....I'm so totally suppressing every emotion that wants to crawl out of me...THAT is why I might end up in the nutty ward one of these days. Lord help me...and I mean that in all sincerity.

There are some things that are so non essential in my life...but essential all the same. So here is my list...(in case you were wondering)...you're on the edge of your seat aren't you? Okay...here we go (real quick...you will probably think less of me after this...just a warning) now really...on to the list:

  • I am a shampoo and conditioner snob - I could probably find something reasonably cheap that doesn't make me want to itch my head off...but why when they make products like Pureology?
  • I like good jeans - Walmarts (yes I know how I spelled it) sells jeans...I've seen them there...it's like the peek out at me from around every corner reminding me they are relatively cheap...but I really like a good pair of jeans...and yes...I am a sucker for The Buckle.
  • Sheets...now...they SAY that there really isn't anything valid about a thread count above 400...I heard a lady on The Today Show say once that it doesn't exist..."um...excuse me...me thinks you are lost". Now...this is a total non essential essential I do not have...I did...but I don't anymore. Why you ask? Why Sara must you not buy the fancy sheets? Well...because my husband has a tendency to put his toenails through them...thus...no fancy sheets for us till ... well... i guess never.
  • I have a Dyson - it is essential in that everyone has to vacuum, it is also essential in that I went through a vacuum every year for 5 years before my husband would let me get one...it is not essential though really if you think about it...I could just stop vacuuming so much...maybe altogether. Who needs clean floors anyway?
  • i like butter
  • I can justify buying good cheese better than anyone you've ever met
  • Oil of Olay makes me cringe...but Clinique makes me happy!
  • I could drink water...but why when there is Diet Dr. Pepper?
I could keep going....but I'll stop there for now and interject this. When and if my man and I go to some other country I realize I'm going to have to give up a lot! The one thing I know for sure...the One Essential in my life makes the non essential so much more non...I lie down and sleep; I wake again, because the LORD sustains me. Psalm 3:5. 

I can give up a lot...I can by His strength. I know what I chose to hold on to and what I chose to let go of...and I know more than anything when He calls me to let go of something...I will do it. Ultimately He is the One Essential I need. Everything else is just icing on the cake...and I'm blessed. 


God is still God

The Story of Zac Smith from NewSpring Media on Vimeo.

Amazing Story. Amazing Testimony...

God is good even when....
God is good even if....


What do I know about anything?

I'm not an expert on anything. I realized that today...yep...just now. I was just as shocked as you are.  I didn't walk away from college as an expert...I didn't finish giving birth to 3 babies and walk away a better mother...watched a movie the other night and I'm pretty sure it made me dumber...

I think it kinda bothers me that I'm not an expert. I do lots of stuff...just enough to mess it up...but I'm not an expert. I use this as a crutch in my arguments with God a LOT. I tend to wince when He calls me to do something and then I shrug my shoulders and in the most whiny voice I can muster I say: But I don't know how to do that..  or  Are you SURE you want me to do THAT? And then when He says 'Yes' I (in my disbelief that my childish attitude didn't win Him over to my side) shrug my shoulders and say 'Well okay, but don't say I didn't tell you so'. 

This is when God likes to remind me that even in my "really ... you want me to do that..." and my "this is so inconvenient and I really don't appreciate it" attitude that it's not about me and that He will prove it by using my weakest areas of self to show off His strength. This is also when He likes to remind me that I asked to inconvenienced for His sake....and that He is. I'm inconvenienced...just thought you should know. 

Are you?


finding my way home...

So the time came to make some decisions. I've been writing lately about the BIG decisions that come along in life...not like...what should we eat for dinner...OR even...where should we go on vacation (that is IF you take vacations...we haven't...in a while). Standing at the edge of life we looked around, surveyed all we had, decided we didn't have what we wanted...some things had to go...

**If you're looking for a post to brighten your day, you may want to hit the 'next blog' button up top...this will not be one of those

Serious conversations began. We have had some REALLY rough years, this last year probably being one of the hardest. As we took a dive into our existence to see what we were made of, one of the things we've learned is God has to...HAS TO...have His way with us or we won't ever fulfill His purpose here. As our Pastor L put it this weekend...we were made to give Him everything...and when we give Him everything...we find out what we were made for. So we're starting the process of giving Him everything. What does that look like for us? Well first step is to sell our house. Hard to do in this economy. Might not look pretty...but it's a start and it's necessary. 

One of the things that dawned on me today is even though I get the fact Isaac is at home in Heaven...there was something in the back of my mind gnawing at me about leaving this place...and my memories of him here...this was our home with him...he never made it back with us from the hospital...but still this place was our home together...and leaving here...means leaving some of that. Part of me is grateful I don't have to go into my office in the basement anymore where I spent a lot of time crying, the other part of me is so sad. There is history engraved in this place. I know I know...the memories go with me...but all the same...it's tough. 

This Summer I took a drive...wasn't sure where I was going...I ended up driving up and up...and somewhere on Mt. Evans...I pulled over and was listening to Mercy Seat blaring in my car...I rolled down the window's to let the sound blast through a meadow and watched some dear grazing while I cried out begging God to tell me what in the world He was doing. His only response to me ... "I make all things new"...and that He does...

It will be an interesting journey packing up this house...I'm sure the tears will keep coming and the uncertainty of what God is doing with us will continue until He choses to fill us in...but the two things we know are: Give Him everything...find yourself...and He will make all things new. 

More to come...more decisions to be made...I'll let you know as they happen...


Say what?

We have been grappling with finding the path God wants us on. More and more the signs are pointing to a specific region, at a specific place, with a specific people...hmmm? Could I be more specific? no...

Anyway...Sunday morning I just happened to be helping in Kids Church for the first time EVER and we were watching a Compassion video on some kids from this specific place and they were in a Church singing. My daughter the Bug leaned over with a very concerned look on her face and said: "mom, are they worshiping the One True God?" I didn't think the love barometer could spike so high...but it did and in a half a second I was in tears. "yes baby, they are worshiping the one true God."  Later when we got in the car, she started telling us everything she was planning on giving to the children AND that we needed to bring one boy and one girl home so we stayed even...she is truly an amazing child...and I'm not sure what I did to deserve her...

as a side note, if you live in the San Antonio area and need an amazing photographer...who happened to take the above picture go here.

In any case...I just wanted to say that when the Lord starts to call you to His plan and His work...or rather...when WE start to listen and finally hear the call...because I think all of us are called...He makes it so evident...He even has the audacity to use our children (gasp!)

I promise to keep you updated. This could be a short term thing, it could be a long term thing, it could be a 'Just wanted to see if you would say yes' thing, but all the way around we know it will be a God thing.

Love you all,



Layla went to play with the angels early this morning. Rest in peace precious Layla. 11/26/2007 - 3/9/2010

To the Marsh Family, 

My prayers are with you. I cannot fathom the loss. I'm so sorry. 

In Christ,

Sara Pipkin


Trust and Obey

I woke up this morning and no joke was singing this song in my head: 

This world is not my home, 
I'm just passing through
My treasures are laid up somewhere beyond the blue.
The angels beckon me from Heaven's open door
And I can't feel at home in this world anymore.

O Lord you know I have no friend like you
If Heaven's not my home, then Lord what will I do?
The angels beckon me from Heaven's open door
And I can't feel at home in this world anymore.

I seriously don't think I've sung that song in 15 years. I kind of giggled thinking about how some of those old hymns are really good at articulating how we feel...just in a very hokey way...but I know it wasn't hokey back then so please don't send hate mail! 

In any case, I woke up feeling uncomfortable with life. I do this every once in a while...when we start moving towards serious change I just start feeling uncomfortable in my own skin. The ground underneath me seems to move...I get quiet, pull away and spend a LOT of time praying and thinking. This in the past has resulted in my hubby thinking I'm angry...but I'm not...just a tinsy winsy bit stressed (He knows that now so don't send marriage help books with your hate mail).  I do NOT like change. Never have. I like things to be and flow smooth. However, as odd as this will sound, there are times when I crave change...I just never have the guts to do anything about it. I can remember when I was in college and I had just moved to Colorado and I was desperate to feel comfortable again. I was sitting in my room begging the Lord to just take me home because in my heart of hearts I knew that Heaven was going to be the only place I'd ever feel normal and at home again. He had something different in mind...There is this scripture in Exodus 23:9 that talks about oppressing an alien, it says: "Do not oppress an alien; you yourselves know how it feels to be aliens, because you were aliens in Egypt". Even back then people KNEW how it felt to be in a place they knew was not their home. 

So why am I ranting about this this morning? Well, partly because when I wake up singing songs like that in my head, there is no going back to sleep...so I'm a tad bit cranky that I got up at 6 am on a Saturday. AND because I realize there are times when get comfortable and then the world seems okay for a little while. We have what we need, money might be a little tight, but over all we're ok...Our kids our healthy and we don't have anything shaking our world up on a massive Spiritual scale...so life isss...ok.We don't REALLY need God at that moment because everything seems right with the world. 

THEN something starts to move you...you start to realize the ground underneath you that was so stable 2 seconds ago is not so stable anymore. You realize the house you've been living in is full of things you'll never take with you when you go...and you say it out loud to friends who need to hear that...but you yourself...you can't let go. You realize that although you have told God you give Him your children...when something is wrong with them, you beg Him not to take them. The ground starts to shake a little more and we realize we are losing our footing and now we are VERY uncomfortable. The catastrophe thunders down on us and when the storm is over and the dust starts to settle and all around us is devastation God looks down and says: It is good. We cry and raise our fists to the heavens and beg Him to answer us why. We survey the devastation and mournfully we start to clean up and somewhere on the wind a melody fills us with comfort, but the words rain down a reality we forgot somewhere before the storm came and they say something like this:  Not a shadow can rise, Not a cloud in the skies, But His smile quickly drives it away; Not a doubt or a fear, Not a sigh or a tear, Can abide if we trust and obey. Trust and obey, for there's no other way To be happy with Jesus, But to trust and obey. Not a burden we bear, Not a sorrow we share, But our toil He doth richly repay; Not a grief or a loss, Not a frown or a cross, But is blest if we trust and obey. Trust and obey, for there's no other way To be happy with Jesus, But to trust and obey...as the song washes over us, we step back to see the wreckage is gone, our life is rebuilt and even the hint of a storm is out of sight. Only then do we see it IS good...it is better than before and this time we will remember...and we will learn and we will trust and obey...


Asher Update

Houston....we have poop. And that's all I'm going to say about that because I think we're all tired of talking about this crap poop. 

You'll love this...I have nothing new to tell you. We had the ultra sound done. It was horribly annoying. Jason and I had to hold Asher down, the tech had no bedside manor and didn't even acknowledge Asher except to tell him the gel would be cold. SERIOUSLY??? You're going to tell a 19 month old that doesn't even know why you flew in the room, flipped the lights off and now you're putting something on him and you can't even say hi? No wonder why he started screaming. 

We were told the doctors office would get the results within the next 24 hours...so yes...you guessed it...I'll be calling once lunch is up and hounding the doctor to see if she can call and get the results sooner. 

Bleh...in any case. He's asleep now, no more dirty diapers of any kind except for wet.Thanks for hanging in there with us in prayer! 


What you Know in your Knower

**Update #2 Ugh…so now they are saying he has to have had NOTHING by mouth for 6 hours before they will do the Ultra Sound. Brandi does this sound right? We have an appointment at 7:30 in the am. I guess now we wait another day. 

**Update #1 - Just got off the phone with the Dr.’s assistant who said we SHOULD  be expecting runniness instead of solid and that she didn’t want to call in the ultra sound till his symptoms changed. I asked if the fact that he was not eating very well now made any difference and she said  not to worry…so I said…well I am worried and I want the ultra sound done as planned so we can have some piece of mind. She said she would call it in now. We will hopefully be on our way shortly. I also clarified with her that she would call me TODAY with results…she said yes. I’m sure she cussed me when she got off the phone, but what can you expect when you tell a mother her son has something in his tummy?

I have a PA-RECIOUS boy. His name is Asher...but we call him Biscuits. He has been the coolest kid and by all measures...probably will be the most spoiled. I think this is common with your last...or when you have lost the one before...I just think you spoil your kids more. In any case, we think he rocks. I just wanted to ask you to pray for him today. 

On Sunday he started throwing up when he was in bed and then having runny tummy poopy issues the rest of the time. I took him in on Tuesday because he wasn't acting sick and things weren't adding up. So they did an Xray to see what they could see. We found out yesterday he has a block in his stomach that is most likely, hopefully, just from a little constipation. 

We are going to go in for an ultra sound today since we have been doing a lot of laxatives and still no poop. Just pray for him for comfort and that mommy and daddy will live Psalm 112:7 He will have no fear of bad news; his heart is steadfast, trusting in the LORD. Because we know in our knower God is in control...sometimes that doesn't relate back to the heart. I know you all have my back in prayer and I'm so blessed to have you in my community. 

Love you all



Since things have been heavy lately...

I thought I would post something that makes everyone smile! How about a recipe for an awesome CHOCOLATE cake and a funny story? No? Yes? Whatever...

So for any of you that actually know me...you know I loathe...I mean LOATHE ironing. I would rather buy stretchy clothes that never feel the heat of an iron. As luck would have it, I'm married to a guy who needs his pants creased in the right place and his shirts starched to perfection...yea...poor poor Bebe. AND, my bff irons her clothes every night before she goes to bed, AND my business partner who is mildly insane is an ironing freak too...THESE PEOPLE IRON JEANS! So...needless to say, the iron and I don't meet a lot and I'm really OK with that...or I was until...

It was  very pretty Sunday morning and the pants and shirt I wanted Biscuits in were wrinkled beyond wearing. I...being the attentive mommy that I am...walked into the guest room where the iron resides and plugged it in. As I stood there wondering if it was really worth ironing a shirt no bigger than a dolls shirt...my daughter walked in to talk to me. The Bug (as we call her) was chatting away as I started the grueling process of ironing a very small shirt collar when all of a sudden she stopped. This is the conversation that changed my way of thinking...sort of...: 

the bug: "Mom...what is that?" 
me: "what baby, I'm busy I can't see what you're pointing at" I said while cross eyed trying to crease the sleeve of a shirt
the bug: "Mooo' ooom"
me: "don't Mooo'ooom me, what are you talking about?"
the bug: "WHAT is that TOOL you are using?"
blink blink....what is that tool...oh my...how old was she...losing my mind, counting fast...one, two...six...WHAT...she's six and she doesn't know what an iron is? Oh my...what will her future husband say about me? What will she tell people in school about me? Will her teacher send a note home? Will she tell the carpool mom? Will I be ostracized from carpool? Will they kick us out of school? This is it...all this time I thought my obsession with not eating at a buffet or never eating left overs would ruin her, but I've done it with an iron! I knew I shouldn't have picked the dang thing up....

NOW...I know what you are thinking...Sara, you're so right to have all these feelings and no one thinks your weird...I know I know...but really that wasn't what I was thinking. THIS is what I was thinking after I stopped laughing about it all morning: IF my daughter never remembers me with an iron in my hand, but always remembers seeing me on my knees or my nose in the Word, remembers hearing me Praise God for the big harvest moon, or the sunset painted in the sky...If all she remembers is when the world seemed Topsy turvy we could see where God had blessed us...then life's alright with me. Even if we never carpool again. Amen.

Now...here's some chocolate cake:

20 Minute Chocolate Cake
1 Cup of Water
1 Stick of Butter
¼ Cup of Cocoa
Combine in pan until butter is melted
2 Cups of Flour
2 Cups of Sugar
Mix and combine with butter mixture, add:
2 Eggs
1 teaspoon of salt
1 teaspoon of soda
½ Cup of Buttermilk
¼ teaspoon of cinnamon
1 teaspoon of vanilla
Mix and bake at 350 for 20 minutes or until knife comes out clean
¼ Cup of Butter
¼ Cup of Milk
¼ Cup of Cocoa
1 Cup of sugar
2 Teaspoons of Vanilla
Bring to a boil and let it boil for a minute, take off heat and whip it for a little bit then pour on hot cake. Yes…pour it on the hot cake.

Eat up sisters! You are loved!



When your IT isn't enough...

This Sunday was beautiful and hard. I ended up kicking my fast off a little early as the wee hours of the morning reached me very early on Sunday. I woke up to pitch black darkness in my room and started praying. My memory washed over the stories and sadness we had been hearing about, but the ones in particular that were really getting me were the stories about the children dying of cancer and the little girls being sold into the sex trade at as young as 9 years old. When I started this journey...this awareness...it was very apparent to me that I could walk away at any point. I didn't have to read all those stories. I didn't have to look at the pictures. I could completely protect myself and my mind, because after all, what could I do? 

Well for starters, I could read all the stories, I could look at all the pictures, and I could pull my head out and accept the fact the world is an ugly place of suffering. There are people all over that do not get to close their web pages and turn their head. They are faced day in and day out with the tragedy of life. They are the parents trying to hold on. They are the Humanitarian desperate to bring water to Africa. They are the missionaries striving to teach a people that selling your child for sex is not right. These things are happening every day. So my question has been to myself, is it really alright for me to shut the TV off, turn the page, close my eyes, pretend it isn't there? But...if I do that...how will I ever know what I'm really to pray for? How will I ever rise to the challenge to be a part of Kingdom work, here and now? How will I ever be able to truly teach my children how to live out an authentic life in Christ if I shield them from the reality of the world? How? 

I can't fix everything. I know. On Sunday morning as we were praising God in church, with my hands lifted to Him He said: "I numbered their days before they were born, but it does not mean I love them less, it just means My plan is different than yours." I, humbly, should know this by now. I don't mean to sound callous when I say this, but my losing Isaac...does not compare to what THIS family is going through. I know that, and although I don't even understand our own loss, what He revealed to me THEN is still the same: He has a purpose for all of us. At the time of conception there is a plan on our lives, and sometimes that plan is to work with Him in Heaven. 

That is all I need to know. I hope you had a fruitful day yesterday. I hope if you joined me the fast that God chose to speak mighty words to you that can only come from Him. Thank you for being with me on this journey. I know I'm a tad bit intense (okay...a lot intense), but I also know God is working out something in me to His favor that will someday be glorious. 

Love you all,



Awakened Awareness...


Ezra 8:23 So we fasted and petitioned our God about this, and he answered our prayer.

This is what I want to proclaim over all of you who have joined me today! I believe that even before we knew we would be here together on this journey, God had and has a plan to show Himself mighty to each of us. I can't wait to hear how He works in you and in your situations today and in the days to come. 

Have a blessed time in Church. 

Love you, 


I want to encourage you today to be inconvenienced for the sake of others. 

I have been sitting and reading story after story of people desperate for hope. It dawned on me today that although I feel hopeless to help, I can do something. On Sunday the 28th I am committing to fast for 24 hours (starting when I wake up) through Monday morning. I would love it if you would join me. I know I know...it's so inconvenient...but when you start to read the stories from the links below...you will see why. 

Please take some time to post sites you know of, or tell me in the comment section about someone you know that needs prayer and why. THEN, if you have committed and feel lead to join me on Sunday, please let me know. 

I believe in fasting. I KNOW it works. PLEASE forward to everyone you know. Let's make this big! Let's spend 24 hours being inconvenienced for these people and approach the thrown of the Father and seek out a miracle from Him. 

Is your Grime Bleached?

I was cleaning my sink this morning...it's white...has to be bleached a LOT...when I noticed the cup in my little drainy thingy was gross...so I decided...I'll BLEACH that too! So I did...I bleached the grime in that thing so good you could barely notice it was still in there, but it was. Then that got me to thinking...what grime in my life has been bleached but not scrubbed away? 

I think it's normal for all of us to have areas in our life we struggle with. We pray over them, ask the Lord to search our hearts and minds and rid us of our grime. In some cases He does in ways we will never forget...and I mean NEVER...and in other ways...we ask, and we bleach...but we don't REALLY want the scrub. We're not willing to get our muscle in it and scrub the livin' daylights out of it so we can be rid of it once and for all. Just bleach that grime...no one will notice it's still there, and I MIGHT pretend it's not there either. 

In my reading this morning I came across Proverbs 20:30, it says this: Blows and wounds cleanse away evil, and beatings purge the inmost being.  I kind of giggled and then said 'Amen'. This is the muscle that cleanses our soul! What I have learned is either I will have the strength to stay in the word and expel my life of the grime...and this is the easy way...OR...God will purge my inmost being with that 2x4. THAT hurts! Not very encouraging is it? Well how about this:

WHEN we've finished this race, cleansed of our grime and all...and we will...this is the glory that awaits us (and gives my heart such comfort)

Revelation 19:7-9
7Let us rejoice and be glad
      and give him glory!
   For the wedding of the Lamb has come,
      and his bride has made herself ready.
8Fine linen, bright and clean,
      was given her to wear." (Fine linen stands for the righteous acts of the saints.)

 9Then the angel said to me, "Write: 'Blessed are those who are invited to the wedding supper of the Lamb!' " And he added, "These are the true words of God."

I don't know about you, but I can't wait for that fine linen - BRIGHT and CLEAN. 

I love you all,