finding my way home...

So the time came to make some decisions. I've been writing lately about the BIG decisions that come along in life...not like...what should we eat for dinner...OR even...where should we go on vacation (that is IF you take vacations...we haven't...in a while). Standing at the edge of life we looked around, surveyed all we had, decided we didn't have what we wanted...some things had to go...

**If you're looking for a post to brighten your day, you may want to hit the 'next blog' button up top...this will not be one of those

Serious conversations began. We have had some REALLY rough years, this last year probably being one of the hardest. As we took a dive into our existence to see what we were made of, one of the things we've learned is God has to...HAS TO...have His way with us or we won't ever fulfill His purpose here. As our Pastor L put it this weekend...we were made to give Him everything...and when we give Him everything...we find out what we were made for. So we're starting the process of giving Him everything. What does that look like for us? Well first step is to sell our house. Hard to do in this economy. Might not look pretty...but it's a start and it's necessary. 

One of the things that dawned on me today is even though I get the fact Isaac is at home in Heaven...there was something in the back of my mind gnawing at me about leaving this place...and my memories of him here...this was our home with him...he never made it back with us from the hospital...but still this place was our home together...and leaving here...means leaving some of that. Part of me is grateful I don't have to go into my office in the basement anymore where I spent a lot of time crying, the other part of me is so sad. There is history engraved in this place. I know I know...the memories go with me...but all the same...it's tough. 

This Summer I took a drive...wasn't sure where I was going...I ended up driving up and up...and somewhere on Mt. Evans...I pulled over and was listening to Mercy Seat blaring in my car...I rolled down the window's to let the sound blast through a meadow and watched some dear grazing while I cried out begging God to tell me what in the world He was doing. His only response to me ... "I make all things new"...and that He does...

It will be an interesting journey packing up this house...I'm sure the tears will keep coming and the uncertainty of what God is doing with us will continue until He choses to fill us in...but the two things we know are: Give Him everything...find yourself...and He will make all things new. 


More to come...more decisions to be made...I'll let you know as they happen...