and it comes again...

I coulnd't write on Saturday. Not because I was overly emotional or because I forgot...only because I didn't know what to say. Will we do this ever year? Will I write to faceless people...some not faceless...the epic of the day...the one that never changes in our hearts? It never loses it's emotion, it's sadness, it's sorrow...it just is. And it will continue...year after year...after year...until He choses to take us home. At that point it won't matter because in my arms that boy will be. And I will hold him till every second my chest ached for him, till every time my arms felt empty, till every time my heart yearned to be back in that hospital room...if just to hold him one more time...till all of that washes away...and then maybe a few hours...days...months more...I will hold him.

I miss him so...oh...I miss him 

Santa aside, tree still stands

and all the lights are low

there in a room, far from reality

no one could change the blow.

White washed walls, a baby born

and quietly they wept

a sweet little baby, a tiny new body

a death they knew to expect

Unimaginable pain, unmatched agony

the clothes are laid aside

they kiss him lovingly, breathe deeply

this is the moment, this is the time

An ounce of hope, a promise made

this cannot be the end

A journey polished, that's what is promised

Mercy come now, grace attend.

Desperation sings, sorrow lifts

the time is now at hand

The Father arrives, takes the child

his new life now begins...

Hope in deliverance, joy in sorrow

Love that transcends all

Triumph infusing, grace in the using

Not my life, yet his...so small..