It is time...after way too many years...here goes:

Dear Santa,

I know you must be surprised. I'm surprised too. You would think after you brought me Pretty In Pink Barbie I would have stayed totally loyal to you. All I can say is I'm sorry. Somewhere between 6 and now (eh hem...no age mentioned here) my Frosty got freezer burnt and my Jolly didn't gel. So before you judge me, let me say I still believe.

Now that we have that out of the way, you should know I have a few requests. I have not been too nice this year, but I think you will overlook my not so nice behavior with the knowledge that I had to clean up a LOT of throw up this year...and it wasn't my own. Nough said. First and foremost, I would like to tell you I'm a bit concerned about the whole Socialized Health Care initiative. I know you don't really have too much political clout, but I'm wondering if you could put the same size dentures under the tree of our fellow congressmen with a tag that says 'One Size Fits All' and that might give them an idea of how hard it will be to put a 'one size fit's all' healthcare plan on the American people. I would also like if you would please sprinkle some fairy dust on our Mr. President (the Tooth Fairy has extra if you don't have any left) and get him to give a tax credit to current home owners that already own cars and are married with children and are US Citizens...I think those of us who have paid our bills and are doing what we're supposed to do would like to share in some of this free wealth :) Just a thought.

Okay...on a more personal note, I don't think I have slept in about 7 years. I would ask you to bring fairy dust for that, but a years supply of Ambien would work just fine. I like to have at least one present to unwrap. I would also really like if you could have a discussion with T-Mobile about my voicemail. It seems we are in disagreement about when voicemails are left and when I actually get them. Since you know I'm the type of gal that likes functional gifts and enjoys the practical side of things, I'd like you to install 'Yes Mommy' buttons on both my children. One seems to have the 'Why' button and the other has a 'no no' button installed instead. While the 'no no' can be cute at times since he only knows a few words, I figure we might as well get a head start on him.

Last but not least, and most importantly, you may have noticed a few 'new' things about me...so here is my final request:

my waistline is missing,
some things started saggin,
the gray is a creeping,
my hips...they ain't shrinkin'
the gyms not an option
it's always too hoppin
with girls and their yoga pants
their cute hair...their implants
i'm feeling like Dopey
add Sleepy and Grouchy
Snow White would be a nice twist
or i might start a hit list
this may seem quite forward
but you've always been aboveboard
please Santa, here's my point
a makeover...a new look of some sort
a lift, a tuck, no wrinkles here
you could easily make this quite a year
i'm not asking too much
i'm not afraid to beg
but come christmas morning
i might lose my head
that about sums it up,
i have nothing left to say,
please santa remember me
come Christmas day



It's a sad day...

There comes a time in every life where things just don't work like they used to. When they slow down, don't operate like they should, or just plain don't want to go...well...it happened in our house today. Here is what happened.

I woke up this morning to the smell of coffee (which is always a bonus). After having a very sick little girl for the last 4 days and my son now picking up where she left off, I was very ready for the coffee my husband very sweetly made. As I poured my cup (in my favorite cup) I noticed it looked slightly weak (sorry honey) so I proceeded to pour a little in the sink and there it was...brown water. So I dumped it out and started over.

**as a side note...if you know anything about the Skorick gene...we don't drink weak coffee. We drink BLACK coffee...amen.**

As I washed the used coffee grounds out of the basket I noticed some of them ...some of them weren't even grounds at all...some of them were still BEANS!. This made me suspicious, apprehensive and very edgy. I immediately pulled my trusted coffee grinder out of the cabinet and sweetly told it that it was the best coffee grinder ever. It was not of noble birth...there was no Cuisinart label on the side of it, no kitchen aide...it wasn't even a Braun! No...ours was a $10 Mr. Coffee grinder, and we were proud of it. It has lived with us, moved with us, been abused by grinding spices...it has been a GOOD grinder for a lot of years...I would say probably 12. In any case...I plugged it in, poured the beans in, put the cap on, and push.......nothing...no loud obnoxious noise, no murmur, no nothing...to my absolute horror it was silent.

As I stood in my kitchen wondering how in the world I was going to get any coffee now, I wasn't even ready to face the prospect of NOT having coffee today. That is another story for a different day that I might not even tell you...but ANYWAY...suddenly a bright light appeared overhead and a whisper came from the cabinet below. It was a soothing whisper of hope and encouragement. As I opened the cabinet door...there it was...the gift my BF gave me for my birthday and it was shiny and beautiful and just waiting to feel the love. I thought surely...this is it...this could be the ticket...the appliance to go where no other appliance had bean before! So I grabbed it, poured my beans in, and VOILA...in a magic moment (that was really really loud) my beans were obliterated and ready to be boiled! YES! Coffee here we come!

So today I wish to say good bye to my old grinder...see ya!

And I wish to applaud our brand new Magic Bullet! Thank you Mr. Bullet for saving my hinny! You will soon be replaced by someone more equipped to do the job....sorry.

And now I will go drink this...