I am NOT ok...

The last few days have been filled with busyness...today I forced myself out of the house because I knew that I was not going to be ok...then it dawned on me that I'm really just not ok anyway. Time is filled with talking to clients, shuttling kids around, answering the phone, making breakfast, lunch...dinner...going through the motions...choking back tears...and just about every hour I've asked God: Do all dogs really go to heaven? 

Before you even let the words escape your mouth that 'it's just a dog'....let me tell you I ALREADY KNOW THAT! HOWEVER....that 'just a dog' was my dog for nearly 13 years. So for the skeptics...keep reading...you may learn something from my soul search for dogs...and don't be mean....

I started reading different articles about the probability of animals in Heaven...some people out there are truly disturbing...the entire time I was reading though...I could tell God was leading me away from those articles and directly into His word to sooth my heart. He brought so many scriptures to me it has overwhelmed my heart with peace: 

Hosea 2:18
In that day I will make a covenant for them 
with the beasts of the field, the birds in the sky
and the creatures that move along the ground.
Bow and sword and battle
I will abolish from the land,
so that all may lie down in safety.

Psalm 84:3 
Even the sparrow has found a home,
and the swallow a nest for herself,
where she may have her young—
a place near your altar,
LORD Almighty, my King and my God. 

In Revelation 5:8-13 all creatures recognize Jesus as the Savior of the world and praise God right along with redeemed men. In Romans 8:19(KJV) we read that the lesser creatures await Christ's return to redeem the sons of God so they, too, will be released from physical death to eternal life. AND then there is this: 
Then I heard every creature in heaven and on earth and under the earth and on the sea, and all that is in them, saying: 

To him who sits on the throne and to the Lamb 
be praise and honor and glory and power, For ever and ever." Revelations 5:13  (now tell me there's no animals in Heaven....)

Paul wrote in the book of Romans: "Because the creature itself also shall be delivered from the bondage of corruption into the glorious liberty of the children of God. For we know that the whole creation groaneth and travaileth in pain together until now" (Romans 8:21-22 KJV) See...Tucker has a new body and has been released from this earthly bondage...

So I'm not okay. I'm not sure anyone would be. 12 1/2 years is a LONG time. We grew up together. When he was 3 he didn't like when I'd leave town. I'd usually get a new pair of shoes on my work travels and he'd make sure to find that pair and eat one shoe. He was good at making me pay for leaving him behind. He lived after eating a whole tube of bengay. Add that to the list of all the other things that boy ingested and it's a miracle we didn't lose him earlier. Tucker would blow bubbles in the water...that was funny. He was with us on the plane with the man proposed to me....we said yes. He knew every time I was pregnant....he'd hardly leave my side. When we lost Isaac...he slept right by my beside for days.... He never failed to meet us at the door. He never failed to forget a meal...and he never failed to drool everywhere when someone in the house made popcorn. He...was a GOOD boy. I knew I would really suck at this...and I have lived up to my expectation. I miss him. I HATE that he died in my arms...and oh...how I miss him. 

But God has given me hope and filled me with peace...that not a sparrow falls from the sky that He doesn't know about...so surely...my son Isaac just got a dog named Tucker...

And the wolf will dwell with the lamb, 
And the leopard will lie down with the young goat, 
And the calf and the young lion and the fatling together; 
And a little boy will lead them. 
Also the cow and the bear will graze, 
Their young will lie down together, 
And the lion will eat straw like the ox. 
The nursing child will play by the hole of the cobra, 
And the weaned child will put his hand on the viper's den.
(Isaiah 11:6-8)

Love you all,


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