and it comes again...

I coulnd't write on Saturday. Not because I was overly emotional or because I forgot...only because I didn't know what to say. Will we do this ever year? Will I write to faceless people...some not faceless...the epic of the day...the one that never changes in our hearts? It never loses it's emotion, it's sadness, it's sorrow...it just is. And it will continue...year after year...after year...until He choses to take us home. At that point it won't matter because in my arms that boy will be. And I will hold him till every second my chest ached for him, till every time my arms felt empty, till every time my heart yearned to be back in that hospital room...if just to hold him one more time...till all of that washes away...and then maybe a few hours...days...months more...I will hold him.

I miss him so...oh...I miss him 

Santa aside, tree still stands
and all the lights are low
there in a room, far from reality
no one could change the blow.
White washed walls, a baby born
and quietly they wept
a sweet little baby, a tiny new body
a death they knew to expect
Unimaginable pain, unmatched agony
the clothes are laid aside
they kiss him lovingly, breathe deeply
this is the moment, this is the time
An ounce of hope, a promise made
this cannot be the end
A journey polished, that's what is promised
Mercy come now, grace attend.
Desperation sings, sorrow lifts
the time is now at hand
The Father arrives, takes the child
his new life now begins...
Hope in deliverance, joy in sorrow
Love that transcends all
Triumph infusing, grace in the using
Not my life, yet his...so small..

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