So here's the deal. He's 2. TWO, DOS, d - e - u - c - e ... do you read me? He will soon be 3...I just shuddered a little. I know two is a walk in the park compared to three...what we don't know is how bad it's going to be with him...and if TWO is any indication...one of us may not make it through the next year. So I need advice. I'm wondering if any of you have a kid like this and how you've managed to deal with it. Obviously what I'm doing isn't working. Let me painfully describe my morning to you and it might give you some insight on his royal twoness: 7am, open his door so he wakes up on his own...rudely rousing him in his habitat and scaring him awake causes an overabundance of statements like: 'I DON'T WANT YOU MOM' and 'I WANT TO STAY IN MY BED' and 'I DON'T WANT YOU MOM'...oh...I already said that...in any case I have to be careful and let him wake up on his own. We move downstairs from his room, when he's ready of course, and roll out the inevitable question which will ruin the rest of his day: What do you want for breakfast?
Then this is the conversation that happened recently:
B: Can I have cookies?
M: No, we need to find something other than cookies for breakfast
B: Okay, well can I have cheese?
(thinking we had made some headway with his meltdowns, I was pleased at my accomplishment and said)
M: Well sure, you can have some cheese
B: OKAY! (takes cheese - insert personality change here as he walks into the living room)
B: I don't want you cheese!!! (slams cheese on the coffee table as if lactose intolerance in this country has to be conquered)
M: Okay...then you don't get the cheese (throw cheese in trash)
B: BUT I WANT THE CHEESE
M: I'm sorry Biscuits, you should have thought about that first
B: (screaming LOUDLY) I WANT CHEEEEEEEESE!
M: Please sit in timeout
Now...as you can imagine...that didn't work. We just went downhill from there. So here is what I need help with...
How do you change the root of a child's behavior? When he says he wants something, no he doesn't, yes he does... I've already tried one chance and you're done...it's not working..so what now? Do I take all his choices away and not give him a choice and then when he doesn't take what I give him, do I not give him anything? Do I let him make the choice and then when he decides 10 seconds later that he's changed his mind, take whatever it is he's chosen away?
Maybe the root of the problem is his nickname is Biscuits...I'm not sure...
What I am sure of is, he's stubborn, he can yell really loud, and he's also the sweetest boy I've ever known...
Let me know if you any advice...or make me an offer for the kid...I'll entertain either...
Love you all
Sara
2 comments:
I don't have any advice for you simply because I have my own stubborn almost five year old who I am sometimes willing to sell. BUT I hear you, oh how I hear you.
Love you
B
I'll take him. I'm sure he'd be thrilled to have his Wes and 2 other older brothers. :) But seriously... don't back down. Give him one chance to make a decision and let him know beforehand that he does not get to change his mind once he's decided. You may deal with what seems like never-ending fits but consistency is the key here. A few days of this is not an indication of whether or not this is working. After 6 months of consistency you may find that he's learned the boundary. I only know this because I have dealt with this exact behavior with more than one of my boys. :)
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