Awakened Awareness...

UPDATE:


Ezra 8:23 So we fasted and petitioned our God about this, and he answered our prayer.


This is what I want to proclaim over all of you who have joined me today! I believe that even before we knew we would be here together on this journey, God had and has a plan to show Himself mighty to each of us. I can't wait to hear how He works in you and in your situations today and in the days to come. 


Have a blessed time in Church. 


Love you, 


Sara
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I want to encourage you today to be inconvenienced for the sake of others. 


I have been sitting and reading story after story of people desperate for hope. It dawned on me today that although I feel hopeless to help, I can do something. On Sunday the 28th I am committing to fast for 24 hours (starting when I wake up) through Monday morning. I would love it if you would join me. I know I know...it's so inconvenient...but when you start to read the stories from the links below...you will see why. 


Please take some time to post sites you know of, or tell me in the comment section about someone you know that needs prayer and why. THEN, if you have committed and feel lead to join me on Sunday, please let me know. 


I believe in fasting. I KNOW it works. PLEASE forward to everyone you know. Let's make this big! Let's spend 24 hours being inconvenienced for these people and approach the thrown of the Father and seek out a miracle from Him. 

Is your Grime Bleached?

I was cleaning my sink this morning...it's white...has to be bleached a LOT...when I noticed the cup in my little drainy thingy was gross...so I decided...I'll BLEACH that too! So I did...I bleached the grime in that thing so good you could barely notice it was still in there, but it was. Then that got me to thinking...what grime in my life has been bleached but not scrubbed away? 


I think it's normal for all of us to have areas in our life we struggle with. We pray over them, ask the Lord to search our hearts and minds and rid us of our grime. In some cases He does in ways we will never forget...and I mean NEVER...and in other ways...we ask, and we bleach...but we don't REALLY want the scrub. We're not willing to get our muscle in it and scrub the livin' daylights out of it so we can be rid of it once and for all. Just bleach that grime...no one will notice it's still there, and I MIGHT pretend it's not there either. 


In my reading this morning I came across Proverbs 20:30, it says this: Blows and wounds cleanse away evil, and beatings purge the inmost being.  I kind of giggled and then said 'Amen'. This is the muscle that cleanses our soul! What I have learned is either I will have the strength to stay in the word and expel my life of the grime...and this is the easy way...OR...God will purge my inmost being with that 2x4. THAT hurts! Not very encouraging is it? Well how about this:


WHEN we've finished this race, cleansed of our grime and all...and we will...this is the glory that awaits us (and gives my heart such comfort)



Revelation 19:7-9
 ⁷Let us rejoice and be glad
      and give him glory!
   For the wedding of the Lamb has come,
      and his bride has made herself ready.
 ⁸Fine linen, bright and clean,
      was given her to wear." (Fine linen stands for the righteous acts of the saints.)
 ⁹Then the angel said to me, "Write: 'Blessed are those who are invited to the wedding supper of the Lamb!' " And he added, "These are the true words of God."


I don't know about you, but I can't wait for that fine linen - BRIGHT and CLEAN. 


I love you all,


Sara

Holding on to sand...

I'm not going to lie. I've been stressed lately. I have been fighting a battle for a long time with other people's perceptions and keeping idols where they shouldn't be kept - a lot of times those idols live in how I'm viewed. There are other things too though...like the more tangible things...this economy is killing us right now and it's time to make some decisions. The hard ones. The ones that change the course of your life...or maybe not. MAYBE...what I'm holding on to is not THAT big of a deal. MAYBE it's like trying to hold on to sand...

If I picked up an arm full of sand and squeezed it with everything I had, that would be the equivalent to what life is like in the world of material possessions. Not only are we cautioned about building our house on the sand...but we're also told to store up our treasures in Heaven (thank you Amanda for reminding me). How eternally appropriate: Matthew 6:19-20 Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 

I'm not sure what battle you are up against today. I wish I could pray all of your pain and my pain away quickly...but that isn't 'of' this world. We live in the fleetingness of this place and everything about it is temporary...unsettled...unnatural...all I can say is I'm so grateful Heaven awaits us. So grateful.

Unchanged in the world of His mystery

Holds the treasure our Father secures

Finding peace in the sea’s of His mercy

Let the waves wash my pain off His shore

This world I know all too well now

And it’s shadowed by mysteries above

This agony my day brings to find me

Is eased by the hope of His love

Rest in eternal redemption

Swim in the oceans of grace

Where no pain and sorrow will find me

Only the smile on my sweet saviors face

Something to pray about...

So this has been a tough weekend. We have set into the dark months of my work...which are usually January and February...this is where I don't close anything, just because of the time of year...and we have to do a lot of praying to make it to the next commission and pay day. We also had our basement overflow with sewage yesterday. Disaster...horrible, smelly disaster. I cried only once, but gagged a LOT. After a lot of bleach, ripped out carpet and hurt back I stood in my wrecked basement and thanked God for preparing me for what I know is an awareness of things to come.


Can I handle standing in Africa, amidst poor water conditions and children who are being wasted away by that? Can I handle going to India and deal with the stench of the trash and children fishing through it to find their next meal?
Can I stand in Haiti and soak in the devastation of an already poor country hit by devastation beyond what I can understand?
Can I?


My answer is I will. I love how God works through our days. Shows us things we otherwise wouldn't recognize in our comfortable living rooms, eating our fast food and watching TV that takes us away from reality into a world that pulls us from being aware. I WANT to be in that mode of full awareness...daily understanding that I'm blessed...holding a child that never otherwise would feel loved if it wasn't for people like us willing to go. I'm so ready.


We are on a journey. Will my husband lose his job? Will I get another commission anytime soon? Will the Lord finally show us when and where we are to be?


I don't know. If you want to pray with us, we'd love that. What I do know? I'm grateful our sewage system backed up yesterday.


Love you all.


Sara

I'm not ignoring you...

For those of you who are so wonderful and faithful at checking back at my blog to see if there are any updates, I just wanted to update you on the latest update...in a not so updated sort of fashion....overkill? Okay I'm done, here it goes:

I am speaking this Friday, if the weather permits, and therefore all of my writing energies are focused on that right now...and being a mom, mother and mortgage broker...and Bible Study...

So, don't be dismayed, because I just know you're in a fetal position on the floor waiting for my next post....(insert cricket noises here) (once again)..I will be back.

Love you all. I will most likely post what I spoke on next, so be reading up on Balaam and the Donkey and lets see if you can guess what I'm talking on.

Sara

PS: This is me getting distracted from writing to prove I wear glasses to my Brandi girl...you can her check out HERE and you should because she rocks!

Have to stop...

My latest blog hopping venture has taken me all over the blogerworld to find people that have adopted from different countries, all with so very different stories, very different drives, but one common thread - the one true God.

I have to stop. I can do this for hours and what I usually find is myself in a near pile of tears on the floor feeling helpless and (shamefully) jealous that I can't do more than just pray right now. On one hand I'm so ready to jump in and just Do the THING and go start the process of helping wherever I can, and on the other hand, I temper my drive with the what if's and the logic behind the emotional conquest. I know - because I hear and read - that it is not easy. Reading stories like this tend to ground me back to reality, but then there is still a tug that pulls at my heart strings, and like an addiction I come back for more 2, 3, 4, 5 times a day just to read and see the pictures of the children smiling, unsure of where they are and where they are going and even if this is the real deal. So many of them have tasted and seen things you and I can not even conjure up in our heads. They are in need of serious love and support. Can I do that? Then I weep and exclaim, Father, only you know the intentions of my heart. Search me and find anything that is a vain desire and dispel of it so that when the time comes, I can do Your bidding with a pure heart, eager to show You and Your love to any child who will take it from me. Lord...if I am not ready, make me ready.

It is so appropriate that He is searching me even now and we (our Father and I) are communicating about the way He would take Jason and I as I begin to teach this Friday on rising to the challenge of Kingdom work. All around me He interjects thoughts and provokes images in my mind that show me we are called to His work, if we would just believe of ourselves what He believes in us. So often we step back and recoil from doing anything other than our daily life because we don't believe God can use someone like us...someone like me...what does that mean? Why are we so stuck on the fact that we are the ONE person God has chose not to use in a mighty way? We are the one person who did that one unforgivable thing that God refuses to use..who are WE to say what we are, when clearly He has called us, before the foundations of the earth was laid, He called us.

Man! I get so frustrated with the whining and the sniveling and hear me now...it's my own whining and sniveling I take issue with here. I don't know where you stand in your walk...but I know in mine, I've spent way to much time flushing minutes down the toilet waiting for the next big thing...waiting for God to use me in a big way...all the while in my arrogance thinking the small ways are too small for me and they really don't count. ugh....

Lord, use me. In the small ways, in the big ways, just use me. Don't let a day go by where You don't afford me the opportunity to do Your work, to see Your people and the life around me the way You see it. I don't want to wonder and waste away thinking I could have done something big...You Lord are SO big and in all things that are working for Your good, for Your glory....it is big and it is amazing. Thank you for calling me to Your plan. Whatever that is, I ask You take me to it. I am ruined for Your plan. Please, don't let my words wither away into nothingness, allow me to write and speak all that is You and all for You.

use me...

My reality? I may never get to adopt. I may never go overseas and work again. I may never realize the picture of what I believe is the thing to do...but if I'm doing what God calls me to....if I'm listening to His desire over my life and taking the challenge...I will have all and be doing all that I need. What more could I ask for but to be in His world doing His work now?

Thy Kingdom come...Thy will be done.

Yes Lord.

To My Husband

Jason,

The last year of our marriage has been one God moment after another. If anyone has a doubt as to His existence, we can prove them otherwise over and over at this point. The biggest testimony to His work in me is that you are still here with me.

Nine years ago today I woke up without one doubt in my mind or heart that I was getting ready to seal a part of the plan God had ordained over my life from the moment of His weaving me in the womb. There was never a man that stirred my heart the way you had. You were meant for me. At times over the years I haven't treated you as the gift that you are. This passed year...I have done and said a lot of stupid things. I have broken your heart, made you cry, doubted His plan, run away from you and hurt you so many times. For that..I am so sorry. And for that...I am so greatful for your forgiveness.

Jason, no one ever made me feel the safety I felt when I was in your arms. I still feel that way after 12 years of being in your arms. I can't tell you how happy I am to know that I get to have that for the rest of my life. I never in my wildest dreams thought we would be here today, loving each other the way we do with the security that our relationship has been ordained by the King Himself and NO ONE can tear that apart. You are mine.

I am more in love with you than I ever thought possible. When I look at you, I don't just see a guy that I share a house with and 3 babies with...I see a really hot man who makes my knees week and my tummy fill with butterflies. I look at you and I can't believe you still want anything to do with me. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for not giving up on us.

I love you Jason. Happy Anniversary.